Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
