So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My pussy is not your playground.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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