They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
