Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
