do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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