left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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