I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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