I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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