So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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