Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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