Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
