Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
