if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
