i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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