Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
