Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Barsexuality is the new black.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
