i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
