I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
