And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
