that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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