Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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