i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
