Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
