Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
