She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
