I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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