walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
