Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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