So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
