I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
