I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
