The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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