Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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