Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
