Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
