We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
