i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
