I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
