my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
