please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
