I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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