we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
