No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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