I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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