Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
