I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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