Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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