I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
