she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
