did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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