I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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